Overview

At Kids Konnected, we believe that Cancer affects the entire family.  Each of your children will experience your diagnosis in a different way and with different feelings.  Cancer is not an easy subject to talk about and many parents try to avoid the topic in fear that they will scare their children.  The problem with this approach is that children are very smart and intuitive.  So, when someone in the family is diagnosed with cancer and it’s not talked about, your child’s fear, sadness and anxiety will only increase.

We suggest you start by reading our “Hope the Bear” book describing what cancer is and it dispels any myths your child may have about your cancer.  Cancer can be a scary word for most children.  When a parent has cancer the child usually senses that something is wrong and if the adults aren’t talking about it, it must be really bad.  Their imagination is often worse than reality.  If not explained and left to their imagination, children begin to believe that perhaps they caused the disease, it’s contagious or the person with the disease will die.  By discussing cancer, the child can have a more accurate picture of the problem and perhaps resolve many of their imagined fears.  It also gives them an opportunity to discuss their feelings and understand why they feel the way they do.  Finally it will help them find healthy ways to deal with all of their feelings.

It is also imperative for parents to explore their own feelings and seek therapeutic help if necessary.  Just as when problems arise on a plane, a parent is told to put their oxygen on first because if they aren’t breathing, they are no good for their children.  The same is true regarding their feelings and reactions to their cancer diagnosis.  What feelings are not worked out within the parent will bubble up in the children and they will act them out for the parent.   If a parent has dealt with their issues and feelings they can also more easily recognize and help their child who may have similar feelings.