Q. What is cancer?
A. A person's body is made up of millions of cells. Some of these cells begin to grow in an abnormal or out of control way. Since they grow from our bodies they are not always recognized as foreign and escape detection by our bodies defense systems. As they grow out of control they can interfere with the normal function of our regular cells and make it very difficult for them to perform vital functions.

Q. How did my parent get cancer?
A. No one really knows how/why some people get cancer. This often makes it very difficult to understand why a parent gets sick. People who research cancer are also still unsure why many people get sick. Through their research they know that many factors contribute to someone maybe getting sick. Some of these factors are genetics, environment, stress and unhealthy habits such as smoking.

Genetics means that the genes in our body may have been predisposed to produce cells that will grow into cancer. Not all cancers are believed to have some genetic predisposition. Environment means that many chemicals that people used to work around, such as asbestos, were later found out to be possibly cancerous. Stress influence means that sometimes when people are under extreme amounts of stress such as the death of a loved one or involved in some type of natural disaster; this stress may cause ones cells to grow abnormally. Smoking has been now related to many types of cancers such as lung, neck and mouth.

Q. Did I cause my parent's cancer?
A. A lot of information is given to cancer patients and their families about the importance of reducing one's stress while being treated for cancer. Children will often misinterpret this information, as they must now not do anything that will cause stress for their parent. So, when a child acts as a normal child and perhaps acts out, gets angry or has a temper tantrum, they will often feel a lot of remorse following the episode and feel as though they may have somehow now contributed to their parents cancer. Also, during different development stages of children, they often feel omnipotent and therefore it's natural for them to think they are powerful enough to cause the cancer. It is essential to talk frequently with your child as this allows you to be able to clear any misunderstandings a child may have. A parent may need to tell a child over and over again that he/she did not cause their cancer nor could they do anything to ever cause their cancer or a recurrence of the cancer.

Q. Will I now get cancer?
A. A person can not catch cancer. If you ever did get cancer it would be due to a variety of factors such as environment, life style and genetic makeup. We can not manipulate our genetic predisposition yet, nor can we completely alter our surroundings. Healthy habits practiced over a lifetime are the best insurance against getting cancer, just not a guarantee.

Q. What can I do to avoid getting cancer?
A. You can not guarantee that you will not get a cold, flu or cancer. You can reduce the chances of catching a cold by washing your hands before touching your face and getting plenty of rest. In the same way, avoiding the things we know that can cause cancer can lessen your risk. Some healthy habits to include in your lifestyle would be:

-Never smoke cigarettes or cigars

-Never drink alcohol

-Eat a healthy diet that includes lots of fresh fruits and vegetables

-Always wear sunscreen when out in the sun

Q. What is chemotherapy and how does it work?
A. Chemo is a medication that kills fast growing cells. Cancer cells are usually fast growing and out of control. Some normal cells are fast growing too, such as hair and the lining of your mouth. Normal cells can repair themselves easily whereas cancer cells do not possess a good internal mechanism to fix the damage caused by chemo.

Q. Why do people lose their hair during chemotherapy?
A. Chemo is a medication that kills fast growing cells. Your hair and the lining of your mouth are also fast growing cells. So when the chemotherapy kills the fast growing cells such as the cancer cells, it also kills the other fast growing cells like the hair cells. This then causes the hair to fall out.

Q. Why is my parent so tired now?
A. Other fast growing cells affected by chemo are the red blood cells. They are responsible for transporting oxygen and nutrients to all areas of the body. If some one does not have enough blood cells to carry nutrients and oxygen, the body uses the energy for essential functions first. If there is anything left over then actions like walking might get a small allotment of energy.

Q. What do I tell my friends who keep asking me questions about my parent's cancer when I don't want to talk about it?
A. Most of your good friends will be concerned about you and will want to talk to you about it because they care about you. However, it is O.K. to tell them, "I appreciate your concern but I would rather not talk about it right now." As a parent it would be helpful to talk to your child's friends parents and teachers and emphasize the importance of treating your child as a "normal" child. They get inundated with "cancer" in their home and need to be treated like all the other kids outside their home.

Q. Is my parent going to die from the cancer?
A. No one knows for sure. But just like other serious forms of illness some people get better and some do not. As a parent it is important to address this issue and never say, "I will not die from this cancer." The more a child can talk about the possibility of death, the more they can control the possible anxiety that goes with this issue. They will follow your lead. If you are open about all subjects and have a good attitude about your illness, they will too. Therefore, if you are having any problems dealing with any of the aspects of your cancer it would be imperative for you to find a way to deal with them such as going to a support group or individual counseling. Just as on a plane you need to put your oxygen on first before you put your child's on….because if your not breathing you can't help your child. In the same sense, when you are dealing well with your cancer, so will your child.